Facebook update on Friday –
Not sure where I’ve posted what I’ve updated where so let’s just be global.
Yesterday I saw the medical oncologist, basically got the “weeks to months” speech and was told I qualified for hospice (uhhhhh……… so what else is new???) but we decided to do a few more things to reassure ourselves that we had every base covered, and so in turns we scheduled, unscheduled, rescheduled, discussed, etc, various clinical trials that this triple negative cancer might or might not qualify for. Just a little OCD here, sorry. meanwhile the bleeding continued and my brain just isn’t working right.
So, my platelets are still low, and my liver isn’t functioning well. You know, for seven years I have been in the hospital for sickness, like pneumonia, but this past few weeks are the first time I have had to stay over for complications from the chemo itself. My body is just getting tired, The palliative care doc pointed out that there are just no more reserves.
At one point today we were going to go to oncologist, get labs done, hold anticoagulant, get follow up spinaltap done, go see palliative care doc, get spinal tap done, consult about out of town studies that would or would not require leptomeningeal mets, do anticoagulant, greet my parents coming into town and then fall apart. instead we got labs (bad) saw palliative care doc and fell apart. Much more efficient.
Monday we find out if we don’t know if we will qualify for the chemo that we don’t think is working anyway,. we will also learn more then about possible last ditch out of town trials that I might qualify for.
I am thinking it’s time to rearrange my attitude about asking for help. This is always a hard one for me but we are arriving at a time of transition – hospice, wheeelchairs, you know……. life as we know it is about to look a lot different. Maybe its time to start a conversation about how best to help my babies…..
my parents are here, I hope until at least Monday. time for sleep. Love and hugs.