Halaven Cycle One Day Zero

Today is Halaven Cycle 1 Day Zero. (meaning i had my first dose of my new chemo this afternoon). It went fine. My white count was only 2.9, but they decided that was good enough, considering. Brooke, my very best knitting oncology nurse was there to make sure.


But here’s my analogy for the day. Chemo is like jumping off a cliff. The jumping part is fine, you can even fall or get pushed. No problem. That’s like sitting in the infusion suite. Easy, comfortable, and they even had blueberry muffins. Then comes the fall part. There’s a little anticipation anxiety there, but it doesn’t hurt, nothing is broken… That’s tonight. I’m irritable from the steroids but otherwise fine.


HOWEVER, at some point, you are going to end up in a heap on the rocks at the bottom. No matter what. Chemo is like that. Once the drug is infused, there’s pretty much no way to get it back out. So you wait. Unfortunately, one of the things you can do while you wait is read on the internet lots of other folks’ experience with this same drug. it’s like cancer porn. You know you shouldn’t be reading this stuff, but you can’t help it. Different people have different stories to tell about their landing and their time lying on the rocks…. and what they walk away with once they can get up and go.



But for the moment, I’m fine. Family is fine. Our pastor is out of town for a couple of days but returning in time for me to receive the sacrament of Anointing again on Saturday after Mass. My teacher friend got her socks and they fit just fine.


And I really am going to put those two other pair on ebay. Maybe tomorrow, or maybe Emily can do it for me on Saturday…. Thanks for all the love and support.

EDITED TO ADD this youtube link from my friend Jaime….  


5 thoughts on “Halaven Cycle One Day Zero

  1. Ooh! Are those the teacher’s socks? So very pretty!

    I like the rocks analogy. May this cliff be low enough that you still get up and walk away.

    And stop reading cancer porn! Hey, I’m trying to do the things I promised you I’d do. Now you gotta stop reading cancer porn. Knowing stats are bad won’t make God’s healing miracle any bigger or smaller, you know. We all know that every day you are here with us is another day to celebrate the miracles you and we have already been given. Reading more drug stats cannot help your mental health. This is one of those things where your MD after your name probably isn’t helping you. The rest of us wouldn’t be tempted to read this stuff coz we’d be able to pronounce no more than three words per sentence.. or maybe per paragraph. (…’non-taxane microtubules dynamics inhibitor’ … A string of syllables that transport NO Meaning to my brain whatsoever. (Makes me wonder how the students I work with feel…. Do my words sound like a meaningless stream of syllables?))

    Hugs! May today be a good day. (And no broken noses.)

  2. Your description of chemo is so true. Just remember, if you HAVE to read all the chemo-porn, that YOU are NOT a statistic. Praying for you.

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