Today is my mom’s birthday. And, really and truly, she and my dad are here to celebrate it with us. About a month ago I saw all the ink on the calendar squares for this weekend and decided that just this once I needed to ask for help. (hah… i ask for help way more often than I’m comfortable with, way less often than certain friends think I should… so the balance sounds just about right :-0 )
Because three big kids had chamber orchestra rehearsal tonight, we’re saving cake for tomorrow (before my parents and the boys go to the opera, Mozart’s Magic Flute, their violin teacher is concertmaster) but we opened presents tonight.
I know it’s hokey, but the best gift was presence, not presents. A long time ago i used to pile all my children into the van and drive to michigan OFTEN. I can’t do that any more. And Danny can’t fly on a commercial plane without LOTS of hassles… so we just don’t see my parents (and my sister and her husband and boys, whom I miss ever so much) very often at all anymore.
Dixon thinks I should fly up to michigan by myself, to spend time with my family and get some rest, but it just doesn’t feel right going anywhere without my babies….
But it DOES feel right to watch my babies and my parents love each other. Danny was absolutely overcome with excitement when they arrived. I think his whole body was vibrating. He somehow managed to be ON my dad while being wrapped all AROUND my mom at the same time. (personal space just isn’t an issue for Danny…) I need to email his school-school teacher to see if perhaps it’s not too late for them to join Danny’s class for a special lunch they’re having tomorrow….
We have a busy weekend… soccer tournament, orchestra auditions, catechesis of the good shepherd training, faith formation, Dixon’s working, an opera, two birthday parties… while i try not to overdo it. Hmmmm… is that actually possible? Whcih brings us back to the concept of being intentional. I saw a new-to-me doctor yesterday. On Friday two of my regular doctors had to stop several of my chemo drugs because of terrible high blood pressure. Unfortunately, I’ve used up lots of my other options, so they’re not exactly sure what to do next. But anyway, this new doctor and I had a good chat, first about my list of things that I can’t currently do because of pain or fatigue (and we’re going to work on those issues) but then a list of things that I want to do and CAN do … and what it would take to make that happen. When you’re tired and generally feel bad all the time, even if you don’t have a few children who need more attention than average, sometimes you just don’t get around to doing the things you want to do because the more pressing issues and even emergencies come first, and then there’s no strength left over to do the real list…
Have you noticed that I post less than once a week lately? it’s not because I don’t LOVE the communication, the process, the preserving my thoughts and our family’s story for my children in the future… it’s because … well, if I explained the whole thing it would sound awfully whiny, so I won’t even start. But anyway, this new doctor really motivated me to choose the things that I want to do that I CAN do, relatively easily and pain free, and figure out with my family how to make it happen. She is holding me accountable.
So, today is my mom’s birthday. it’s pretty close to the third birthday of my blog. I am going to be intentional. I am committing here, to you, to see my family more, no matter what, and to let my blog move up on my priority list…. things that make me happy and that I can do independently should come ahead of things that I don’t like and can’t do without help. Time to delegate those. So my dad is coming early, early, early tomorrow to get Danny’s braces on. I have officially given that one up. Maybe by the time I post tomorrow I can identify a few other things I can rearrange on my list. Then you can hold me accountable, too.