Every day, a different friend asks me, “OK,so your kids are thriving, but how are YOU???” Some days, lots of friends ask me the same question. So here’s how I am:
I am strong enough to sew a halloween costume for Danny. Danny wants to be a candy corn.
I was going to buy him a candy corn costume, but:
This just wasn’t Danny. You see what I mean? So anyway, I’m strong enough to go to the fabric store (as long as I have no other big errands or appointments that day) and get the things we need.
All good so far. And even better than good is interesting. Danny is interesting. Danny needs to make sure his candy corn is a geometrical representation of reality.
So far so good. I can sit at the kitchen table and do math all day.
But back to the “how are you?” question: I am NOT strong or agile enough to get up and down from the floor (and get Danny up and down off the floor) to make the pattern that he NEEDS to have. I would have just used all that good math and started cutting…. but SOMEBODY really, truly needed a real pattern. So Monique, Danny’s nurse, did that part. And Danny struggles so much with cutting, so he was happy to just let me do that. (Phew. Independent mama set free at last, fastest most efficient costume cutting EVER. My Ginghers were smoking. )
And of course Danny had to do the sewing. He needs hand-over-hand help with everything, and we couldn’t figure out how to get his chair right for the foot pedal, so he decided that the best way was standing in front of me with his bony elbows supporting his body by pressing into my mastectomy scars. However, in the interest of continuing to have thriving children, I didn’t get cranky and send him to bed with tears of frustration while I quickly sewed his costume. We persevered, I took some extra morphine, and he learned to use the machine.
I think the highlight of the whole thing was when he had sewn the whole front together, and overcast all the edges, he called my mom to tell her all about it. “Nana! I sewed! Really! All by myself! And I learned about the presser foot and the feed dogs and about the bobbin!!!” I could so easily imagine my mom’s happiness on her end of the conversation, being a professional Bernina sewing quilting wearable art person, you know.
So anyway, that’s how I am. My strength and endurance are right in between what it takes to make a Halloween costume and what it takes to help a child make his own costume. And we managed the latter, but I paid the price in terms of pain and exhaustion.
Oh, one more thing about how I am: Last week the interventional joint guy who did the radiofrequency procedure on my left hip had a cancellation for tomorrow and asked me if we wanted to move up the appointment to do the other side. Of course I haven’t totally recovered from my 6 hour infusion session last week (or making the candy corn costume) but we’re going to go ahead and do it. They told me last time to expect to be not walking on it, not driving and having increased pain for 10 days or so. I truly don’t remember it being so bad… but maybe it’s like forgetting labor, KWIM? Of course Dixon is working… but I am thoroughly blessed with so many friends who have taken over all my kids transportation needs (and mine…) and my freezer, fridge and pantry are full.
Oh! And I can knit some … I’ve been wearing the compression sleeve rather than the big bandages for several hours every day just to preserve my mental health 🙂 so I’ve gotten a bag of almost finished projects DONE and DELIVERED – two baby sweaters that just needed buttons, three pair of socks that had been done all the way to the toes, you know, just little stuff…. And as long as I’m faithful with the big bandages most of the time, while I’m on bedrest after tomorrow, I should have plenty of knitting and prayer time to keep me happy.
One more thing… I asked a very smart friend for a memory verse that might help me with my anxiety about my surgery tomorrow. I figured if I could hold onto it in my heart, mind and soul, there wouldn’t be room for too much stress. So she came up with the perfect one for me, and even sent me a video link to share with the kids so that we’re all on the same page all day tomorrow.
So there you go. Our memory verses for tomorrow’s procedure. If you join me in spirit, I know it will go better, it always works that way. The surgery starts at 8, should be done by 10 or so, and then just a little while in the recovery room. Dixon’s working this week, so Sara is driving me, Susan is bringing me home after, Michelle is taking care of Danny, George will be at preschool… My goals are to be up and around enough to go to the wonderful Missa Cantata Sam’s serving at on Sunday afternoon, and to be able to sit up in a very comfortable chair in the evening and hand out candy to the zillions of children who will come trick or treating. I might have to pick just one of those, though… we’ll see.
Thanks for joining me with our verses. It really helps to know we’re all in this together.