Today was the first time in ages that I felt better when I wasn’t trying to get better in preparation for something that was going to make me feel worse. I know that’s a complicated sentence, just hang on a second and I’ll explain. But first, here’s a photo of George, at his baptism, with his godmother, Danielle.
Notice her short hair? At George’s baptism, which was several months before my breast cancer was diagnosed, she was just finishing her own breast cancer treatment. Little did we know….
But anyway, back to the feeling better concept. Since August, every time I started to recover from something, just as soon as I got back on my feet something else happened. I hadn’t healed from the first biopsies when we had the second set. There wasn’t very much time between mastectomy number one and the beginning of chemotherapy. It always seemed like within days of feeling sort of strong and healthy after chemo, it would be time for another round. Then I was done with chemo, just in time to have another surgery. Radiation is continuous… there’s no time to recover when you’re being treated every day. And then more surgery, three weeks ago.
My parents were here for two weeks, and they took care of everything other than cooking (and are so grateful for the cooler fairy that I think my mom should do a guest blog post!)… but they left on Saturday and I was going to resume my regular independent life.
Not! Danielle vetoed that idea. So Monday she and Jonathan, her littlest, came and kidnapped George for the day. Even though I slept for several hours, I was so wiped out and hurting by bedtime that I have no idea how I would have managed if I’d tried to do my whole day with a busy one year old, too. Therefore Danielle and Jonathan took George yesterday, too. I napped and checked OLD schoolwork. But last night I made it through till bedtime without collapsing into an exhausted frustrated tearful heap. So I decided that today I’d keep George, and just have a regular day.
I was vetoed. Danielle and Jonathan came back and took George AGAIN. Right after they came and got him I sat down to organize the rest of the day. I was briefly inspired to move the winter clothes out of the boys’ drawers and to take the job of mopping the kitchen away from Sam… but I came to my senses just in time and napped and rested instead. I’ve done nothing productive AT ALL.
And you know what? I feel stronger. I’m hurting a little less. But the most unusual part of it is that I can keep on improving, because there’s no more chemo, no more radiation, no more surgeries. This is the first time I’m feeling sort of OK when I can truly anticipate that the betterness will just keep on getting better.
Today was our last day of precalculus for a year or so…
So in honor of that monumental event, I’ll put this into mathematical terms. My slope is positive. Definitely positive.