Still sad about nursing and George.

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George was little when he was born… he was early, and kind of had a tough start.  It took so long for him to get the hang of nursing… and meanwhile he took so long to start growing.  He hung out below that third percentile curve on the growth chart.

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Then finally he got strong enough to really latch on and nurse.  His growth just took off and over several months he crossed the 3rd, 5th and 10th percentile curves.  Finally he got to that 25th percentile for weight line and we were so excited.

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Then I got breast cancer, and managed to nurse him through two sets of biopsies.  I even nursed him after my mastectomy, and he hung out on that 25th percentile line.

I had to wean him for chemotherapy, though.  It’s conceivable that I could have pumped and dumped the milk for 10 days after each treatment, but I didn’t.  We changed to bottles and formula. 

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And he fell off that 25th percentile line.  We added calories here, we super-concentrated his formula there, but he crossed back down over the 10th and 5th lines.  Today he had his 15 month check up, and I was sad.  He’s solidly below the 3rd percentile curve for weight… the size of an average seven month old.

Then of course on the way out, the waiting room was full of moms nursing babies and toddlers…  If only.

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15 thoughts on “Still sad about nursing and George.

  1. hugs & tears~
    I don’t know what I can say to help …
    but I do know that you did such a good job getting him nursing~ overcoming the odds!! you are an amazing mom.
    We can see the love his sister is showering on him that even though his size may be smaller than most his heart looks to be full :O)
    ~ and that is what truely matters right?
    (those are some great pictures of Emily & George)

  2. You may not be able to nurse him, but the love and nurturing you show to your children cannot be matched!

    Just looking at these pictures of Emily and George so full of love and contentment assure me he’s one happy little boy!

    Lots of love, hugs and prayers!

  3. Is that a TOOTH I see peeking in that photo????

    I’m sorry you’re so sad about it. Please pray to Nuestra Senora de la leche. [I have no clue if my phonetic spelling even approximates the correct spelling.] I know you have cool photos of a chapel or a photo, etc. I remember discussing it in the past. Please ask Our Lady to give you peace of heart with this tribulation you bear.

    That’s what you really need – peace of heart. George will be fine, I promise. Peace of heart is what’s eluding you.

    I will add my prayers, too.

    http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1145/943714139_c458da8d0e.jpg?v=0

    Love and hugs from RI

  4. Crying for you.
    praying for you.
    George is beautiful, he looks healthy. You gave him a wonderful start, you are a great mom. {{HUGS}}
    love,
    amy in ne

  5. Yes, George is a beautiful boy and so well loved. And I agree with Esther and also pray for a peaceful heart for you.

  6. I am awed by your strength. You are bearing with crosses that would lay a weak soul like myself flat. That is something that you are giving George, whether or not he is aware of it.

    Nursing isn’t for everyone. My sister had to wean her 6 month-old after a bout of ulcerative colitis left her so dehydrated that the baby wasn’t getting anything. She nursed her first until he was 3! And I have had babies self-wean at 8 months when I became pregnant again.

    Love is what children really feed upon. You are doing a wonderful job, and God certainly knows it.

  7. elizabeth, i can only imagine your grief. i’m sorry you lost that part of your relationship with george. but know that you are a SUPERSTAR mother, regardless of nursing status.

  8. What a beautiful and precious little boy… I walked the breast cancer road with my mother and know it is very difficult. I can’t imagine raising children and breastfeeding a new baby though all of that. It’s hard not to worry about their weight and growth, but you gave him a great start and he looks very happy and healthy, he has his mommy and he is obviously loved..what more could a boy ask for? My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  9. Elizabeth, George is so cute! I love those photos. I’m so sorry you are going though this. I think if it were me, this would be the toughest for me. Never having been through it I don’t know for sure. But I think that would be hardest. I will continue to lift you and George up in my prayers. Would Donor milk help George? I’d be happy to pump and send it to you.

  10. Is it possible for you to get donated breastmilk from a Milk Bank? When my daughter was born at 32 weeks, I pumped so much milk before she was able to nurse that I ended up donating it to a Milk Bank. Just a thought….

    Prayers and hugs!

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