So where have you been?
More than a month. I am so sorry. It’s kind of a long story. I think about blogging every day, many times, and just like so many other really valuable and truly good things in my life, it’s just too hard and more than I can handle.
My days have been full. Of lots of medicines.
These three in particular have taken a huge toll on my cognitive function, my ability to concentrate… and all three require additional other drugs to control their side effects. Chemo brain is real, for sure.
Three blue ones, one big white one, five little white ones. Yuck. Almost as yucky as this:
That is my boot, for my broken foot. Six weeks out, and there is no evidence of any new bone growth. See those pills up there? Chemotherapy works because cancers are usually made out of fast growing new little baby cells, and the drugs are engineered to kill fast growing new little baby cells. Guess what heals fractures? Fast growing new little baby cells.
So much of my day is spent dealing with my drugs, and their side effects, and trying to stay off my broken foot… trying to save up strength to really be present for my children when they need me… still teaching my Sunday School class, with lots and lots of help … but every once in a while I manage to pull myself together to do something interesting.
This picture was taken at the Allegro Foundation Ambassador’s Ball. The Allegro Foundation provides movement education classes for children with disabilities. Danny, who started their classes in the fall, was chosen to be one of the dancers to perform at this REALLY fancy black tie fundraising event. And they asked me to talk. In front of all these seriously important people. Who paid thousands of dollars just to sit and have dinner. And who then gave way more thousands (adding up to about a zillion) in contributions.
Danny and I both have so many stories to tell from that night. I got brave and went to buy mastectomy prostheses to wear with my ballgown. And had resulting technical difficulties. That deserves its own post for sure . There was a whole contingent of big deal people from Washington DC, and I was so proud of Danny when he introduced himself to the ambassador to the US from Turkey (photo above) and all the other dignitaries. So I gave my speech, and then afterwards had to talk to a whole line of people…. and for more than halfway through, this lady was standing next to me with her arm around me… I don’t have personal space issues, but it seemed rather odd. Turns out it was Sue Myrick. She wanted to tell me her breast cancer story.
Then much to my surprise, Esther emailed me this morning, with a link to ME giving my speech. A video on the Allegro Foundation website. It was very awkward to watch myself – crazy just regrown hair, fat face from steroids… needing the MC to haul me up the steps to the podium because it is quite difficult to walk in one fancy shoe, one boot and a floor length gown… but I watched it anyway. Then I made the fatal mistake of emailing the link to my parents.
The video is fourteen minutes. They called me after fourteen minutes and two seconds and my dad asked me to please, please put it on my blog. He never asks me for anything, so no matter how awkward and anxiety provoking it is to think about a video of ME talking about one of MY children, I figured I should do my best.
So here it is. My speech from the 2012 Ambassador’s Ball. I can’t embed it directly, but if you go to the Allegro Foundation website and click the link under the photo, there I am.
Thanks for listening. I’ve missed you.